The night has come quickly, so very quickly . things that were once no threat have become the scariest yet. I need a way to understand what my life’s planned.
growing dim i will make my way through the haze, to some where safe, i will keep going until my time has come.. hold on tight you said as you whispered my name.. Goodbye lover, ill keep you forever
im so fucking pissed off at myself… youd think after running around on my feet for more than 8 hours a day id be fucking skinny but instead IM AS FAT as anything… my legs are bloated my tummy is pregnant.. and im a dick for letting it happen… shoot me now
Our love is like the lake house„ its always at the wrong time, waiting for years, for something that might never happen, for something that mightnt come, everyday my heart aches for your comfort.. i reach out but your not there… i Dont know
why cant i be the one that can come to you when i need you most? isnt that what family is? someone to be there for me in times of need? but you never were„, you were always to busy„, and here i am trying to talk about my feelings.. i messed up again„ i couldnt just shut up and be cool like Sonia Said i had to go and open my mouth and here i am listening to everything he thinks about me.
how can you tell someone that you created how you really feel? you supported me in this decision and now you took it back just as if you were a manipulator… Yes you always have been.
you took your seed and made me in your image, and than you took it back and blamed me for being wrong„ but i never chose who i was or who i would be.. i never wanted you to tell me the truth„ why couldnt you of lied? and said you loved me? but instead you say things to hurt me.. just because you know it gets me..
you should of just disowned me, than i wouldnt have to be in this position.. it wasnt fair of you to do this to me„
11.11 marked the moment that i doubted you„, moments went passed when i wondered seriously if you were the right one for me, but maybe just maybe im self sabotaging again, and i should stop it.. like five years of engagement said : “maybe you should just pick a cookie and take a bite.”
i sometimes wonder if your the one, but when ever im with you, i feel the most wonderful things from inside my soul as if you warm up every fragment of my body. i should never let a good thing like that go to waste„,..
i just need to contend with the family and situation for 8 more months and than i finally get you all to myself forever..
i woke up last night, scared, i was so worried that it was all a dream and you werent really there.. but you were, you were lying there so still and peaceful.. i put your arm around me because i wanted you to be so close to my body„ to keep me safe..
i did this a couple times, i woke up many times, i held you so tight, i laid on your chest and heard you breathe, i somehow couldnt sleep, but that didnt matter because you were there and thats all that matters.
Just you and i, You so close to me we become ONE…
ive been a massive dick for about 2 years, leading someone on that might just be my soul mate because i sort of liked his company… Than i found a guy that i thought was the best but really he was just a one night stand..
i never realised youd be so amazing, when all you did was hope to God that i was as wonderful as you thought.. you never left my side even after knowing everything that ive done, and its so super duper wonderful that i cant fathom..
thankyou so much for being wonderful, i could have never imagined you being so understanding and kind, i really want you in my life…
i stopped praying to you a couple of months ago and i guess that was a mistake, since than i might of contracted an illness, lead people on and ruin friendships within my congregation.
God, i know ive been a really selfish human and i really wish i could of taken everything back, i could have prevented everything that happened but instead i didnt.
God take away the worlds pain for they are all hurting, people need you God, the world needs you, Watch over everyone tonight..
Goodnight God, please keep me safe and guide me in the right direction
i dont know what to do or decide„ i thought i could wear your ring and not be emotional over you, but i guess youll always be on my mind, i just want it to all be okay „ i want it to all go away.
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